Shadow's Declassified School Survival Guide
by theRASTAproject
Summary: In a middle school full of bullies...insane teachers...and gross school lunches. Shadow the Hedgehog, thats me and my three best friends try to do the impossible: Create a guide to help YOU survive school. Shadow's Declassifed School Survival Guide* read!
1. Introduction

Introduction

Here's how it goes, every chappy, starting with this one, has a narration by _Shadow_. After that, the story. Here we go. This will be my biggest project yet! Maybe more than 34 chappies or so? We'll See. BTW, italics are Shadow's narrations and italics with underlines are his thoughts.

And fellow readers, don't be mad if u don't see your OC, its probably cuz tht person isn't needed yet for a certain scene. When your OC shows up, it will stay there, unless u decide to remove them or that u want them to 'move away'.

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The following OCs that are in this story that aren't mine are

Spark the Hedgehog: SparktheHedgehog123

Razor the Hedgehog: Luke

Polly the Hedgehog: Polly the Hedgehog

D. Chaos and Mia: theundertaker9999

Kappa the Wolf: EmOvAmPcHiLd

Lust and Envy Wolves: Inudemon2

Silver Wolf: sonicxman

Yumi Rose: KiraUzamaki

Shay Edwards(Hedgefox) and Terry Wolf: ChaosShay

Karen the Echidna: karen1011

Cameron and Sadia Hedgehogs: Renozkuken666

Dom McWolf: SniperRed

Lily the Hedgehog and Andy the Otter: shadowrxmysox3

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The OC's that will be here, that do belong to me are...

**Ares the Hedgehog (Flirt)**

**Laterose the Hedgehog (Flirt)**

**Todd the Hedgehog (Class Clown)**

**Jillian Jameson(Cameo, Todd's GF. She belongs to tcpb000, but the two are coupled.)**

**Spike the Porcupine (Class Clown in secret)**

**Arcangel De Leon (Classmate)**

**and finally, my newest Additon to my OC family  
****Assesina la Eriza (hedgehog) (mysterious girl)**

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THEY WILL BE IN THIS STORY AS LONG AS THE AUTHOR WANTS THEM TO B. Enjoy!

And people who want their OC's to be with the canon Characters, it will happen. So if someone is with ur Oc's luv interest, it will b for a while, since I'm following the setting from the show and from my old story, NWA. Enjoy and I will put them in when they are seen fit, so don't b sad if there are there. I'm gonna have them there, that means flashbacks and memories and cameos. Thanks you guys!

theRASTAproject

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_In a Middle School Full of Bullies_

"_AHH!"_

_Insane teachers…._

"_AHHH!"_

_And gross school lunches…_

_Shadow the Hedgehog, that's me. And my fellow friends are going to do the impossible. Create a guide to help u survive school. _

_SHADOW'S DECLASSIFIED SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE.*_

_*Results may vary._

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	2. First Day, Lockers, Envy?

Shadow's Declassified School Survival Guide. (I OWN NOTHING BUT MY OCS. OTHER OCS BELONG TO THEIR CREATORS)

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**IN A MIDDLE SCHOOL FULL OF BULLIES…  
****INSANE TEACHER…  
****AND GROSS SCHOOL LUNCHES.  
****Shadow the Hedgehog, that's me and my three great friends try to do the impossible. CREATE A GUIDE THAT WILL HELP U SURVIVE SCHOOL.**

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Chapter One: First Day/Lockers/ Envy? Part 1

_Ah, the first day of Class. Nothing can be better….NOT! The first day of class was the day we will all die. It was also the day, I realize my feelings for my long friend, Amy Rose, but my pride won't allow it, making me feel the pain of it all, but back to the story._

The bell rang, meaning the first day of trial and redemption began for the two. Shadow and Knuckles enter Mobius Elementary School with small grins on their faces, in hopes of seeing their friends. Julie-Su was the first person they see and she smiles at the two and says,

"SHADY! KNUX!"

"JULES!" The guys replied as Shadow high fives and Knuckles gives her a bear hug. Shadow then notices someone missing.

"How was camp?"

Knuckles and Shadow look at each other and back and reply in unison.

"uhh…"

_**Flashback…**_

_**Knuckles and Shadow sneak into a cabin with an ant farm and they snicker in evil.**_

_**End of Flashback…**_

"Hey Jules, where's Amy?'

"Didn't cha hear? Silver and Amy are going out."

Knuckles asked, "Since when? I though Amy didn't like Silver?"

"Me too, but since Silver was being nicer to Amy and not so serious, she accepted into going out with him. By the way, didn't you get my texts?"

Again, they reply,

"uhhh…."

_Here's a tip: Don't panic! Stay Positive and stay close to your friends._

_**Flashback…**_

_**As Shadow and Knuckles put shaving cream on the coach's hand, Shadow feels his cell phone vibrating.**_

"_**Eh, its probably my mom."**_

**"_Ignore it." Knuckles replied._**

**_End of Flashback…_**

The guys smile sheeply and they notice certain someones.

Then they see Amy and Silver holding hands as they walk down the hall to see them. She waves 'hi' and they respond waving back. Shadow, in his head said,

_Uh oh, another round of tears my way. Shadow the Hedgehog, prepare for Hurricane Rose._

"Hi guys." Amy chirped as Silver pulls her closer to him.

"Hey." Shadow replied in a dull tone and the others replied happily. They smile at the two and Shadow shows Silver his hand so they can shake.

"Congrats, Silver. Treat her well."

"I will, Shadow. For she told me she looks up to you like a big brother."

Shadow and Knuckles chuckle and Silver chuckles as well and Silver and Amy walk away. As they walk, the two kept on chuckling and they toned it down.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…..ha….ha…haaaletsbeatsilverup."

"You read my mind, Shadow. But why can't you just tell her now?"

Shadow sighs and replies, "I don't want to ruin our friendship, Red."

"Hey, c'mon, Amy likes you. Even when she met you for the first time, she always wanted your attention, never noticed?"

"Um, nope. And why would it matter now?"

Knuckles gives up and they walk to their first class. As they walked to their class, they see an albino wolf in a panic. He was walking into the school with an overstuffed backpack.

_1__st__ tip of the day, never overstuff the backpack! It's not good for your health, or safety. _

When they get to their first class, they see Sonic, who was in a fluffy red coat.

"Sonic, what the hell???" Shadow said.

"Um, y-yeah?"

"Why are you in a fluffy red coat?" Shadow asked with no intentions of knowing why.

"Cuz, ladies dig the coat."

Shadow smacks Sonic's head and says, "Sonic, a tip. _LEAVE THE FLUFFY COAT AT HOME_!"

_Another tip: When its September, its techincally still Summer, so leave your fluffy coat at home, Seriously._

"But chicks dig fluffy!" Sonic whined.

Shadow ignores him and he sits in his class.

When class was over, the four meet up at lunch. Amy was grossed out by the lunch.

"EW! I THINK IT MOVED!"

And it did.

"Shadow KILL IT!"

Shadow sighs and stabs it with a fork. He then sees the bullies, Scourge, Manic and Tazmania.

"Bullies!"

(Sorry if they seem OOC)

Knuckles and Shadow quickly duck underneath their lunch table as the bullies look around for their next victims. Scourge then sees Amy and Julie-Su all alone.

As they walk over, the girls say hi to Lily and Polly. Polly was new.

"Hey, Lily." Both girls said in unison.

"Hey guys, meet Polly. She's new. And you guys know where Spark is?"

They shake their heads. They the notice the bullies coming.

"Uh oh, like, gotta go, bullies at 10 o'clock!"

Lily skateboards away and Polly follows. They then bumps into Sonic, who is still wearing his fluffy coat.

"Dude, take that coat off! Its only September!" Lily said.

"Chicks…dig…fluffy!" Sonic wheezed. She then falls on the ground and he sweats like crazy. Lily shakes her head and she gets on her board and rolls away from the scene with Polly following.

"Hey, girls." Scourge began. He then sends Manic towards Lily. Lily then says to the pink hedgie,

"Run, Polly. Find this guy."

Lily hands Polly a picture of Spark the Hedgehog. The hedgehog was blue and has gold tips at his quills. She nods and makes a run for it. Lily tries too, but Manic catches her.

"Hey, baby."Manic began as Lily rolled her eyes. She then finds a window of opportunity as she notices Shadow and Knuckles hiding under the lunch tables.

"Why, Hey Manic."

"So, baby. I hear you like rebels."

Lily mentally rolls her eyes and says to herself,

"Sheesh, where has this dude been?" and replies to Manic,

"Mmmaaayyybe." She replied as she rolls her eyes.

"Maybe, huh? How's about we hang sometime at the skate park, you and me, so you can check my moves, heh heh."

Lily then sees her chance.

"I'll see about that. You're gonna have to do a lot to impress me."

Manic then gets closer to the hedgehog and says,

"You'll be impressed all right."

Manic grabs her by the waist and when she sees Shadow and Knuckles at the other side of the lunch room, Lily kicks his family jewels.

"AH!"

"Don't touch me, dude. Keep your hands in those pockets. Later, dude."

Lily rolls away as Manic lies on the floor.

She goes over to Amy and Julie-Su and then sees Shadow hiding in a plastic trash can and Knuckles putting up a Knuckles cut out.

(A/N: In the Show, they put up cut ups of themselves.)

She then tells Scourge,

"Hey, isn't that Shadow and Knuckles over there?" Lily said as she points to the Shadow and Knuckles cut-outs, and not noticing the waddling trash cans.

Scourge and the gang run towards them and when they were at a distance, Lily tells Amy and Julie-Su to get out.

They run towards the exit and when they realized they were cut outs, they were pissed.

"Ooh, better call Spark for this one. "

She texts on her cell and after three seconds, she gets a response and when she turns, she sees a light blue hedgehog with gold tips, flashing a cocky smile. Polly was at his side.

"Called for me?"

Lily sighs in content and replies,

"Yep. We have three jerks who are in need of a knuckle sandwich."

Spark smirks with evil and cracks his knuckles.

"About time. It's already the 1st day of school and Scourge is really being a jackass already. And I heard Manic is hitting on you."

"Eww." Lily replied. She then tells Spark where the bullies were headed and he then says,

"Well, see ya, Lily, Amy, Julie." Then before Spark makes his exit, he goes to Polly and says kindly,

"It was really nice to meet you, Polly. Hope you like Mobius Elementary/Middle." The pink hedgehog nods and she waves goodbye.

"Bye, Spark." The girls replied in unison.

They then go to their lockers and they see Knuckles and Shadow, in mop buckets, racing.

"WHOOO!" the guys said in unison.

And they also notice Tazmania and Spark, tail to tail, in the hallways, also in mop buckets.

"COME BACK HERE, DORK! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!" they then hear a loud boom. Polly goes over to help Spark and Tazmania.

Amy and Julie-Su shrug and they leave to find Shadow and Knuckles at the end of the hallway and they were in good terms. Then they see Karen the Echidna, talking to Razor the Hedgehog.

"So, I'm thinking about switching from Cooking to Health, how about you?"

"Um, not sure. I'm glad with my electives."

Shadow and Knuckles take out their schedules, and Knuckles says,

"Let's see if we have any electives together."

Shadow nods and Knuckles starts off,

"Science"

"Yep."

"Social Studies,"

"Yep."

"Lunch"

"Hmmhmm."

"Gym."

"Ye— No"

"WHAT!?" Knuckles shouted.

_Another tip: Try to stay together as much as possible. You won't see each other as much as you'd like, so try to be together as much as possible._

Knuckles goes into a tiny panic and he then snaps out of it. He then looks at Amy and Julie-Su, who looked at him as if he was insane.

"Well, lets see you guys."

He takes their papers and they match one anothers, only to see they had no classes with them. (the guys)

"Hey, you have no classes with us! JUST LUNCH!"

Shadow yanks the paper out of Knuckles's hands and he gives a small frown.

"Guys, Why do you do this?"

Julie-Su replies, "Well, we decided since you guys…well"

"WHAT, WE'RE TOO MANLY FOR YOU GUYS?" Knuckles said as Shadow and Knuckles flex their biceps. (lol)

"No." Amy replied briefly.

"We want to make new friends and I think you guys are…well… do you think you guys could be a little less..gross?"

_**Flashback…**_

"_**A…B…C…D…" Shadow burps out as Tazmania and Scourge play paper football and Razor and Karen along Spark throw paper balls at one another. **_

"_**Come on, Shadow. You're gonna beat Todd's record."Ares said.**_

"_**No way." The baby blue and yellow hedgehog replied. "I made it up to the letter Z"**_

_**Shadow chugs down another can of orange soda and belches,**_

"_**You're on."**_

_**He then gets back to it.**_

"_**H…I…J…K"**_

_**Then Kappa, a red and black wolf with a large fringe of hair on her face wearing a metal bead necklace and in an AC/DC shirt with a black pixie mini skirt with neon pink leggings along with a pair of black high top converse walks by and throws a paper ball at the boys,**_

"_**Dorks."**_

_**She then sits by Tails and reads her book as the guys chant the ebony hedgehog on.**_

"_**Go, Go, Go, Go!"**_

"_**X…Y…Z…NOW…U KNOW…THE …ABC'S…"**_

"_**OOOHHH!" The guys cheered as they see Shadow saying the ending. Amy and Julie-Su roll their eyes.**_

_**End of Flashback…**_

"um…no?" the guys reply in unison.

They shake their heads and they walk away. Knuckles and Shadow look at each other and shrug it off. They then walk down the hallway…awkwardly.

"Wow, a class without the girls…"

"Yeah…"

They stop and they said

"We're switching!"

The bell has rung and the two go to Woodshop. Julie-Su and Amy felt akward about being in a classroom where the majority was guys.

"OK, boys…WHOA! Hold on, boys." Said the old dog. He had wrinkles that stretched like taffy.

"Hello girls, My name is Mr. Hacksaw."

The girls look at one another and they shake the elder male's hand.

"OK, lets get started."

Back in the halls, the guys go to their class and they reach the door to their next class.

"OK, according to this, Amy and Julie-Su are in Health."

"Ok." Shadow replied. He and his echidna friend enter the classroom.

Few Minutes later…

"WHAT DID YOU GET US INTO!" Shadow snarled at his friend as the teacher hands out baby dolls.

"I only got us in Amy and Julie-Su's class."

"DO YOU SEE AMY OR JULIE-SU?" Shadow snarled louder.

Knuckles smacks his head and then the teacher stands in front of his class. He had a very different accent. (Like Mr. Garrison from South park)

"Ok, children. I'm Mr. Hancock. And I am your health teacher this year! Since we have an uneven number of males and females, these two will be the alternative family" the teacher said as he pats Knuckles and Shadow on the back.

"Knuckles….!" Shadow snarled.

"At least we don't have Mr. Sweeney Todd." Knuckles commented. His classmates agreed.

"WRONG!" a elder cruel and insane looking porcupine said in a sing-song tone.

"AHH!!!!" They all screamed.

Julie-su and Amy high five and Amy says,

"tsk, tsk, tsk, Shadow the Hedgehog. Nice try. Wanna call Spark and get a smoothie?"

"Yeah. Let's go, and bring Polly, Karen and Lily along."

Amy nods and they walk towards the door.

_Final tip: ALWAYS EXPECT SURPRISES! _

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Well, wadda ya think? Review, if u choose.


	3. First Day, Lockers, Envy? 2

Shadow's Declassified:

First Day/Lockers/ Envy? Pt 2

_**A/N: I know I said I was to update in the 2009-2010 school year to go along with it, but I just couldn't resist =P On with it.**_

_**The Following OCS used at this moment**_

_**Spark  
Kappa  
Polly  
Lilly  
Andy  
Shay 'Sapphire'  
Poison  
Dom  
Silver Wolf (called Wolf in the story)  
Ares  
Assesina  
**__**Todd  
Tazmania  
my NEWSEST OC, Benny Bombs. (He will not b on often)  
The other OCS will be coming soon, so chillax fellow readers!  
Untouched OCs,  
Yumi Rose  
Lust and Envy Wolf (Will b used in the nxt one)  
Chaos & Mia (used in the next chappy)  
Karen Echidna (Will be in nxt Chapter)  
and others if I forgot to mention. I will use more and I will use all the ocs given to me by the time i reach chapter 4 of this story!**__Ahhh, the locker. Your home away from home. A locker is what expresses who you are. Your home away from home and it shows your creativity. Mine? Umm, forget it. Let's just get on with it._

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The next day, the guys were outside, minding their own business until the girls came squealing. The guys weren't thrilled at what they will probably here…or will they?

"GUYS! GUYS!" Julie-Su calls out. Amy runs behind her and they reach the boys, only for them to give them blank looks.

"Guys, good news!!!" Amy chirped.

"What, that we have Mr. Sweeny Teeny?" Todd comments as he walks away with his friend Reese following him.

"No…but…"

"What?" the guys reply.

"That we will get to choose our lockers!" The girls squealed in excitement as the guys look up wide eyed.

" NO WAY! THE PRINCIPAL PAL WOULD NEVER!" Shadow replied.

'ISN'T IT GREAT! WE NEED TO FIND LOCKERS CLOSE TO EACH OTHER!"

'SWEET!' they hear someone saying from a distance. It was Todd.

"That's totally wicked! Guys! WE GET TO CHOOSE OUR OWN LOCKERS!" the 6th graders hear the cry and they run into the building like a stampede of bulls.

"Me and my big mouth." Shadow scolded himself.

After sometime, Shadow had found a locker, but wasn't fond of his locker neighbor. His name was Benny Bombs and was the kid who made farts like atomic bombs.

Shadow needed to find a locker and ASAP!

Back inside as people were scrambling for a locker, Polly and Lily walk around and then, bullies showed up.

"Heey, Lily. Still got the hots for ya." Manic replied with a wink. The girls roll their eyes and then Scourge takes Lily off her skateboard, making Lily mad.

"Gimme my board back, or you'll be sorry!" Lily snarls. Spark, doing nothing more than listening to his new iPod, sees Lily and Polly being bullied.

"What cha gonna do, small fry? Bite me? Ha, ha."

Lily snarls and Polly looks in fear, only for Manic to mock her and then grab her chin.

"Aw, look at Polly. She's scared as a Chihuahua about to yip away." The guys laugh but before Scourge got the chance to knock Polly down, Spark skates in on a skateboard and slaps Scourge on the back of his head.

"Didn't your mom teach you to be nice to girls?" Poison asked as Scourge and the other guys snarled at him.

Lily and Polly escape them and Lily decides to give Scourge and Manic a piece of her mind. She kicks Scourge's groin and Manic in the crotch.

"AH! YOU LITTLE -"

"RUN!" Lily yelled. They ran for it and Manic almost caught up with them, and got closer to Polly. He grabs her pearl necklace and she shouts,

"HEY!"

They kept running so they don't get hurt and they needed to hide, fast! They catch Spark opening his locker.

"Spark, LET US IN!"

They run into the locker and shut it too. Spark looks in confusion and sees the bullies running. He just rolls his eyes and steps aside.

"Hey you! Seen two chicks? One skater and a total girly?"

Spark replies,

"If I did, it wouldn't matter much…but then again, I would love to beat your faces again."

Scourge snarls at him.

"Oh, and Manic, I think that pearl necklace belongs to Polly. If you want that face of yours to not be disfigured, give me the necklace."

Manic scoffs and hands him the necklace as the others walk away . Spark knocks on his locker.

"Um, girls, I think its time for you guys to find your lockers. Todd just made this HUGE announcement and everyone is on the hunt for good lockers, so you two better start looking"

"CRAP!" both girls said in unison.

"Hey, relax. I found two lockers by the Gym, go here and hopefully no one took them. Added bonus, they are near the exits to the playgrounds."

"Sweet! See ya." Lily said as she went away. Polly began walking with her until Spark called her to attention.

"Um, Polly, here's your necklace back." he said as he held out a shiny pink pearl necklace. "If you want to, I can help you put it back on."

She nods and he helps her put her necklace back on.

"Here you are, now I need to get to Health so, catch you, Lily and Amy later?" She nods and takes out her cell phone to check the time.

"Oh wow, we better go! See ya, Spark!"

Spark waves as she runs of in wedges, making clack sounds in the distance. Sonic looks over at Spark and asks,

"What's going on? Sixth graders on the hunt for lockers?"

"Didn't you guys do this before?" Spark asked.

"Yeah, but since now I am a seventh grader, I wouldn't bother about it. Heh."

"Whatever." Spark replied as he closed his locker, heading for health class as Sonic opens his locker, which was next to Spark's.

"WHOA, WAIT, YOU ARE MY LOCKER NEIGHBOR?!"

"Um, yeah. What's it to ya?"

Spark shakes his head as Shadow then appears out of nowhere, looking at the readers holding a composition notebook filled to the brim with tips and doodles.

_First tip of the day: Be nice to your locker neighbors, other wise, like karma, it will bite you in the butt._

Sonic's locker was a mess and then he sees a weasel pop out. He crawls away as Sonic looked amazed, yet grossed out.

"AWESOME!" he cheered as the weasel walked away. Spark rolls his eyes and moved on to Health class.

_Another Tip: Keep your locker clean, unless you want uninvited guests…If you catch my drift._

Back with Shadow and the gang, Shadow and Knuckles hide in garbage cans once again and they try to find a good locker.

"Knuckles, this is retarded! Why do we need to hide out in the dumpsters? I could just ask for Dom to keep lookout."

"Who?"

"Dom, a new guy in our grade. Cool guy. "

"Ok, then"

They go back to hiding and they keep on hunting. Amy and Julie-Su got their lockers all picked out and they are decorating. Then…Julie-Su sees Tikal.

Tikal is Julie-Su's rival since the 4th grade.

"Ugh…I hate Tikal!" Julie-Su snarls as Amy decorates her locker with neon colors and puts up pictures of pop teen sensations.

"You and Tikal have been enemies since the 4th grade, so no difference."

Then they see Tikal and her friends walk by.

"Julie-Su"

"Tikal."

"Won't be so tough once I beat you with the best locker in the entire sixth grade class." She smugs. Julie-Su snarls and Amy looks on. Tikal walks away with her other friends and the girls see Poison walking by.

"Isn't Poison cute, Tikal?" asked a bunny with robot arms.

"Eh, he's not my type, Bunnie. But, I think Antoine likes you." She replied and later ending with a smirk.

"Shut UP!" she said as the girls kept laughing. Back in the halls, Shadow and Knuckles keep hunting for lockers and luckily for Shadow, he found one. Knuckles found one as well, but its at the…well.

"WHAT THE HECK! MY LOCKER IS AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE! AND COACH ROMAN WILL KICK MY ASS AND I WILL BE THE NEXT TARGET AT DODGEBALL!" Knuckles complained. Shadow rolls his eyes and said,

"Red, stop the dramatics and just get on with it."

"Speak for yourself. You aren't over Amy and Silver being an item." he said with an evil smirk on her face. Ares overhears them along with Poison and says,

"Whoa! WAIT A SECOND!" Ares said.

"You like her!?" he asked. The boys look at one another wide eyed and with 'HOLY CRAP' looks.

"NO! She is my best friend! Besides, lets be honest, gentlemen. Since when has Silver liked Amy? Tell me!"

The boys look at one another and the 'uhhhhs' begin.

"Uhhhhh."

"Exactly. So now we need to stop Amy from making a huge mistake, or else its me that pays."

"WE ARE MEN! WE RULED…AND MESSED UP THIS WORLD FOR CENTURIES!" Todd shouted as he rolled by in a shopping cart.

"Dude, watch out for that--" Sonic warned him until the baby blue and yellow hedgehog rolled down the stairs. Sonic rushes and goes to check it out.

"I'm alive!" He cheered. Sonic laughs and then falls down the stairs too. Shadow and the others snicker and they walk away from the scene.

Back in Health, Shadow and Knuckles wait for their assignments and Shadow tries to create a plan for him to stop his best friend from making heartbreak.

"Shadow, will you just chill and let Ames handle things on her own? I mean, seriously, she's 12, and we're 13, WE'RE MEN!"

They then see Sonic, in a Fluffy coat.

"SONIC, TAKE OFF THE FLUFFY COAT!" the boys practically yelled and then Sonic tells them,

"Um, let me think…NO WAY! CHICKS DIG THE FLUFFY COAT, BOYS!"

Sonic walked away and the boys looked back at Mr. Hancock.

"Ok, boys, here's your baby." he said as he drops a baby doll in front of Knuckles.

"its…a…girl…uhhh." knuckles falls on the floor. He fainted.

"Amy and Julie-Su are probably laughing at us at woodshop." Shadow said to himself as he brooded.

Back at Woodshop, Amy and Julie-Su get to work as they prepare to make a bird house.

"How smart is that we got into woodshop before the boys?!" Amy asked. Julie Su laughs and then get back to work.

In the empty halls, seeing as Sonic refused to take off the coat, he was burning in the heat.

"So…hot…need to stay…strong!"

Polly and Lily see him and Polly says,

"Oh my gosh! We need to help him!" she rushes to the cobalt hedgehog with Lily trailing behind her.

"Geez, Polly, you immediately play nurse whenever someone gets hurt?"

"Its just instinct." she replied as she tries to cool Sonic off. She takes out a bottle of cold water and pours it on Sonic. He feels the water and he begins to panic.

"AHH! WATER! I'M GONNA DROWN!"

Lily and Polly couldn't help but laugh.

After 10 minutes, a crowd gathers as two guys dressed as reporters go up to them and began their segment,

"HELLOOOO, EVEVREBODY! SILVER WOLF HERE ALONG WITH MY CO STAR DOM McWOLF! WELCOMING YOU TO: KNUCKLES' RACE TO GYM" Silver W began as he looked at his partner, an albino wolf.

"and here he comes.

They look on as Knuckles runs down the hall.

"WOW! Amazing speed!" He commented with a smile. "BUT speed in the halls, not a good thing." he ended.

"HALT!" called the insane porcupine known as Mr. Sweeny Todd.

"OH! Penalty Flag, caught that Dom?"

"Sure did, Wolf."

Knuckles makes a halt and he is ticketed by his science teacher.

"Ooh, looks like Sweeny Teeny's warning is gonna run out Knuckles' clock." Silver Wolf says.

The bell rings as everyone rushes to their class. The reporters look at one another with smirks. Dom replies,

"And Ms. Roman is gonna kill him!" they then snicker a bit but they rush to their class.

In Gym, Knuckles is doing hard time by doing many push ups. He knew he was strong, but he was going over his limit.

"Look here, Echidna. I don't care if your locker is at the edge of a cliff in the white cliffs of Dover!"

Knuckles nods as he kept on working.

"If your late for class tomorrow, you WILL GET AN F!" she shouted into his ear as the echidna collapsed. She laughs at him,

"You're weak! Ha, ha, ha!"

After gym, Knuckles searches for his friend and sees Shadow talking to Poison and Ares.

"SHADOW, YOU BETTER HAVE A TIP IN THERE, OR ELSE ROMAN WILL GIVE ME AN F! TIPS!"

Shadow looks back at the readers and begins,

"OK, if your locker is far away and you face teachers like Coach Roman, here's some tips. Eww…I'm being nice."

_Tip: When in class and you need to get to another one that requires you to be there or else you fail, sit close to the door and be quick to avoid the horrible door jam. _

Shadow looks at his buddy and asks,

"If that doesn't help me?"

_Tip: Preset your locks on your locker to the first two numbers so you can just use the one turn. If you use keys, better keep it on a chain or on your neck to remind you._

Knuckles looks on and asks,

"ANY OTHERS?!"

"Ugh…"

_Tip: Unlike my friend Knuckles here who ran through the halls, to avoid such rules, you can use the fast walk, even though you will look totally stupid, you will make it to class._

"FINALLY! A GOOD ONE!" he said as he began fast walking, moving his arms like he was a band member and he kept going as he got looks.

He was glad, until he faced Mr. Sweeny T.

"Unless you're us against a Sweeny T., good luck!" Shadow states to the readers as Knuckles gets another ticket.

Back in the halls, Julie-Su and Tikal begin their brawl over best Locker. Polly and Lily soon drop by and go check out the battle of lockers.

"This is stupid." Lily said as Polly puts on a fresh coat of lipgloss.

"Hello girls." a voice said. They look back to see an albino wolf and a certain light blue and gold hedgehog.

"Hey guys." they said.

"Battle of the lockers…AGAIN!" Dom cheered. "Better find Wolf!" he rushes to find his co-star so they can make another report.

"Is he never in the mood to make news headlines?" Spark asked. Lily shrugs only for Polly to answer,

"Well, Dom and I went to school together along with Wolf. Those guys just love to be reporters on anything." Spark rolls his eyes and looks around fellow classmates and a bunch of seventh graders.

Sonic looks around and at random, decides to play western music. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looks to see a blue furred hedgehog with a kitsune tail and ears who had purple and blue quills and is dressed in a purple tank top and a knee-length skirt.

"Heya!"

"Hey, Shay. What's up?"

"Nothing much, just here to see which girl will end up with a mess after all this. Still with the fluffy coat?"

"Yeah…you like?" he asked in a cocky tone.

"Not really. Well, later." She said as she walked away to her boyfriend, the head school bully.

Back at the scene it was Julie-Su and Tikal, baring teeth and exchanging glares. After ten seconds, a spectator had enough and just said,

'WILL SOMEONE JUST START SHOWING-OFF ALREADY!?!

"HEEELLLLLOOOOO EVERYBODY!" Dom McWOLF HERE ALONG WITH MY CO-STAR,"

"Silver Wolf, or Wolf to make it easy."

"Welcome to; Battle of the Lockers. Its Julie-Su vs. Tikal and after hearing so much about these two girls and the rivalry they had, its gonna be something." Dom announces as Wolf agrees.

"It might not be pretty."

"No, it won't, Wolf. No, it won't."

The girls finished exchanging glares and Amy looked back and forth.

"Ok, Julie-Su, your first."

Julie-Su opens her locker and after opening it, it was shiny, literally, and it was full of as much shiny things as an ADD kid could ever love.

(My cousin has ADD and LOVES shiny things! I love her)

"WOAH!" the crowd cheered.

"Well, Dom, how shiny can you go with this one?" he asked as he puts on some shades.

"Not too far, but seeing as its still sunny out, someone could be blinded. But this is getting somewhere, Wolf." he said as he too puts on shades.

Tikal rolls her eyes and then opens her locker, to reveal a stuffed animal haven.

"WOW!"

"Now," said Wolf, "Time for our MAIN Judge, Todd the class clown, to give us the final say so for this year's…"

'BATTLE OF THE LOCKERS!" he said in his best announcer tone.

The baby blue and yellow hedgehog makes his way through the crowd and looks at both girls lockers.

"Ok, ladies, I will be quite frank."

The girls roll their eyes as Todd took his time into seeing who's locker was the best. Behind the crowd, Kappa looks and she shakes her head.

"Stupid." she said as she walks away. She then sees Tails and he waves hello.

"Hey Kappa, saw the huge crowd?" he asked as she shook her head at the kitsune.

"Well, it will probably be over as soon as Todd gets a move on. He's a cool guy, but is not so serious. Very funny too."

"I don't this he's that funny." She admitted. Tails looks on in shock as she looks up and asks,

"What?"

"How can Todd not be funny? Remember that stunt he pulled on Mr. Sweeny T?"

She shakes her head and Tails just shrugs. In the halls, Shadow and Knuckles walk down the halls in search for the girls.

"Well, Mr. Sweeny just said that the 'fast walk' is technically a slow run. I'm dead and Coach Roman is a GIRL! C'mon, use that big head of yours to think up new tips.

"Don't call me that, Knucklehead and lemme think.'

Shadow thinks for a bit with Knuckles in optimism, only for it to be crushed as Shadow's face turned into a frown.

"I got nothing!"

Knuckles sighs with his head down and they keep walking.

(Sorry once again for the OOCness)

"God, calm down. Give me time here, I'm trying to save Amy from making the biggest mistake of her life, I am nowhere near finding a locker, the whole 'Julie-Su vs. Tikal' thing, and now I have to help you."

Knuckles keeps his head down and Shadow says at last,

"But my wheels are turning at last, more on the way."

"I'll be waiting…and hopefully no F."

Back in the crowded hallway, the spectators wait as they see the class clown make his final decision. Shadow looks over and sees Amy and Julie-Su at one side of the hall, Tikal and Bunnie on the other.

"God, she out fuzzied you!" Shadow said in digust. "I hate kitties and I have to admit, she killed you."

"Not for long, Check out mine."

She opens her locker to reaveal a shiny, dimond-like heaven. Shadow takes out his shades and looks,

"Is this even real?"

Julie-Su nods and Todd finally makes his announcement.

"First time since the Fifth Grade, JULIE-SU! Give her a hand, people."

Classmates clap as Julie-Su smiles on in victory.

"Be honest, Jules, you hate this stuff." Shadow said.

"So? I hate Tikal but I beat her."

"You only did this under compition…man you're good."

Julie-Su smiles on as they see a friend rushing by. Before she had the chance to close her locker, it was then crashed into by the janitor.

"HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WEASEL?!" he asked, showing a wanted poster.

"Unless its Nack, nope. Sorry Anderson" Shadow replied to Anderson. Anderson was a black and brown hare in a blue janitors uniform.

"Anderson! My locker!" Julie-Su shouted, realizing her locker is busted,

"Oooh….but I think I might help!" he said, changing the mood.

"No thanks…" she said with a frown. Shadow looks around and asks,

"God, now I have no locker and there is NO WAY I want to be near the walking pants cannon!"

Shadow then sees an otter in a male power suit

(Sorry shadowroxmysox, but lol, he could be fun as a lawyer! ^.^)

Andy Otter, Future Attonrney." he said as he held out his hand Shadow shakes it and looks behind to see a girl who looked a lot like Amy, but was in opposite colors. Shadow rolls his eyes.

"Andy, I know you since 4th grade."

"This is my client, Assesina. She will gladly trade lockers with you under some conditions. Here's the contract for you to look over. Good day."

"By the way, bring legal representation."

Shadow takes a HUGE packet of paperwork and looks back at Anderson.

"Didn't you go to law school?"

"Yep, about four times." he replied as he went back to work, attacking the weasel. They keep reading until he hears news about a clogging toilet in the boys' room.

"Aren't you gonna do that?"

"Eh, let the night guy do it."

"Ahh."

In the lunch room, Shadow, Amy, and Anderson sit down as Andy sits with his client.

"Assesina agrees to the terms as long as you let her hang out with your 'posse' every lunch or whenever you guys see her in the halls, let her engage in chit-chat."

"And she understands, Benny Bombs? Drops the Atomic BOMB!"

"She cant really smell that well, for it is allergy season. And she is well prepared when Benny gets silent, and violent."

Shadow nods in agreement until Anderson says something.

"Rephrase page 219, paragraph 12, section 3 _A lock of Shadow's Quills_?"

"She loves science and thinks you are an amazing 'species'"

"Also rephrase page 220, paragraph 4, sub-section. B _A date with Knuckles_?" Anderson said as Amy looks at Shadow wide-eyed.

"Um, Shadow, will Knuckles even want to know?" Amy asked. Shadow thinks for a bit until Andy said,

"It's a deal-breaker."

Shadow wakes up and signs, "DEAL!" Knuckles looked in shock at what his best friend had just done.

"WHAT!"

"Hey, it's the only way, besides, I have a plan for you to get to gym." Shadow whispers his plan and Knuckles asks.

"How will we pass Mr. Sweeny?"

"I have my ways." Shadow said with a smirk on his face. Knuckles just shrugs and they go to the halls.

'HELLLLLOOOOOOOO EEEEVERRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYBODY! DOM HERE ALONG WITH MY BUDDY WOLF AND WE ARE BACK TO WELCOME YOU TO KNUCKLES' LAST CHANCE TO MAKE IT TO GYM CLASS ON TIME!"

"Well, Dom, my friend, this should be something. Shadow made him a mop-bucket chariot, what creativity for our hedgehog friend!" Wolf comments.

Dom the turns his cap backwards and says,

"Kids…don't try this at home."

Knuckles gives Anderson the OK to pull the sling and then let him go.

"AND THERE HE GOES!" both 'reporters' claim.

Knuckles holds on for life as he clings on to the mop-bucket. Shadow looks around and gives a brown and green weasel the ok. His name was Benny Bombs.

"He's fast, but how is he gonna get that past Sweeny T?" Wolf asks his partner.

"Wanted to see me, Mr. Sweeny T?"

The confused, yet crazy looking Porcupine then scowls,

"NO I DID NOT WANT TO SEE YOU!" as Benny then squeaks,

"Incomin'!"

Shadow quickly puts on a breathing mask as the fart bombs begin to deploy.

"OH MY GOODNESS!" he screamed as Knuckles passed him.

"YEAH!" Knuckles cheered.

"OOh, Sweeny down!" Wolf said. "Looks like success for Shadow the Hedgehog's get Knuckles to gym on time in a mop-bucket chariot plan!"

"But one question remains, Wolf. Will Knuckles beat the bell?" Dom said in an announcer tone after taking a bite of his lunch.

Knuckles holds on as the 'chariot' took him to gym. The bell rings as Knuckles enters the class.

"YES! NO F FOR KNUCKLES!" Wolf cheered.

"And, just in time for DODGEBALL!" Dom finishes. Knuckles does a victory dance and then looks to see some of his friends like Amy and Polly along with fellow classmates holding dodge balls.

_Ok, Knuckles made it to class on time. And as for Julie-Su, she made a locker door out of wood. Awesome looking if you as me. She made friends along the way. She's Julie-Su, she'll make it out just fine. As for my plan to save Amy? Still at work. _

Shadow then turns to see Sonic on the floor and he tries to breathe.

"SONIC, TAKE THE COAT OFF!" Shadow snarled.

'I AIN'T LISTENING TO SIXTH GRADERS!"

Minutes Later...

An ambulance was outside as a group of kids watched from the doors.

In dollys, Sonic was trying to be saved by medics who were trying to remove his coat.

"THIS COAT IS A KILLER! TRY TO TAKE IT OFF, MARTINEZ!"

"I CAN'T THE ZIPPER MEALTED IN THE HEAT!"

_If you guys learned something today, its this. LEAVE THE FLUFFY COAT AT HOME!_

Then Shadow turns to see another two medics taking Mr. Hacksaw who was saying 'its fine' or 'its nothing.'

"ITS NOTHING! ITS JUST A SCRATCH, SEE?" he said as he held up his paw, which had a drilling needle through it. Shadow and Amy look at one another.

"Sonic didnt want to take off his coat."

Amy sqeaks, "I drilled into Mr. Hacksaw."

They take the old dog away and they call for help in Sonic's case.

"WE have no choice but to cut if off."

"WHAT!?" both guys said.

"Oh, not your hand, sir. The coat."

"WHAT!" Sonic said, in a whine.

_Even though me and Amy aren't together in any class, our friendship will live._

"POWER UP THE SAW!" called the medic as they take Sonic to the ambulance. The Medic revs up the saw and begins to cut the coat as Sonic cries.

'NOO! CHICKS DIG FLUFFY!!!! NOOOO!"

As they cut the coat, feathers are flying around and Shadow waves them away from his face as Amy laughs, because the feathers were sticking on his quills as Shadow rolled his eyes.

_Final Tip: LEAVE THE FLUFFY COAT AT HOME, HONESTY! YOU WILL REGRET IT! _

* * *

**Yeah…its been a LONG ASS TIME! But I am back! But I will update in August, since I will go along the lines of the school year. This is for you guys to know I didn't abandon this story! With love, Rasta. **


	4. Bathrooms

Shadow's Declassified: Chapter 3- Bathrooms

ITS AUGUST!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?! SHADOW'S DECLASSIFIED WITH NEW 'EPISODES' LETS GO!

* * *

It's a whole new day in Mobius elementary/middle school, but for Shadow, its just another round of school to survive. He looks to the readers and begins.

_To pee, or not to pee. That is the question. In Middle School, you have no clue what is on the other side of that door. Whether its Bullies, the occasional haunting, or that its almost impossible to get privacy…unless you're Benny Bombs. _

He begins to walk and then before he says hello to Amy, Scourge laughs and points at Shadow. He rolls his eyes and makes fists.

"Hey, Hedgehog, been in the girls' room lately!? I'M SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG, AND I USED THE GIRLS' ROOM! HAHAHA!" Tazmania snickered and the other bullies laughed with him.

_Its also enough to make you do something you will regret as long as you live._

Shadow rolls his eyes.

"I WAS NINE, IT WAS ON A DARE!" Shadow yelled as he tried to hold in his anger.

From a distance, he can hear Amy and Julie-Su giggle, as they remember.

"Gee, remembering the time I dared you to go in the girls' room was just too funny." Julie-Su giggled as Shadow looks at the girls' room door and it says 'Girls' and next to it 'And Shadow the Hedgehog." Shadow holds in his anger and rips the paper off. Amy giggles as Shadow tears the piece of scrap.

"I WAS NINE, AMES! WE WERE DUMB FOURTH GRADERS DOING DARES!"

"I don't know why you guys are so scared to go to the bathroom. So pretty much you guys never use the bathrooms in school." Amy commented.

"No, ma'am." Shadow states.

"We go before we leave home, and hold it 'til we get back" Knuckles said.

"Exactly, my red and gullible friend. How you girls do this?"

"We don't go in alone."

"Sure.."

Amy and Julie-Su roll their eyes and wolf came in and asked Amy a favor.

"Hey Amy, want to come with me to the bathroom?"

"Sure, Lust. Unlike these boys, I am not scared of using the bathroom." she replied and they go to the girls room and then followed Julie-Su with another echidna named Karen.

"So Karen, having fun talking to Razor?"

"I guess he's ok."

Amy opens the door and once she and the girls are inside…they were shocked to find three tough girls. They were known as the Rowdy Girls. They were the girls' version of the bullies and like their male counterparts, they were mean.

"Oh…crud." Amy said.

"Well…I'm scared now." Julie-Su said as they look in fear of the bullies. The girls scram for their lives and they go to the lunch room.

Back in the halls Spark and Polly were having one heck of a good conversation about themselves and about school.

"So, you came from Knothole Elementary to come here?"

"Yep, and so far, I love it here! And how long were you here, Spark?"

"Um…kindergarten?"

"So you know Amy and Julie-Su?"

"Yeah, and man, if you came to our school during pre-k, god, you were in for fun. We did whatever we did in pre-k and when we would do pretend weddings, I get stuck as priest."

Polly and Spark laugh a little and then they see Lily, Laterosé, and Jillian run up to them.

"Polly, whatever you do, DO NOT ENTER THE SECOND FLOOR BATHROOM!" Lily said.

"What happened?" she asked as she raised her brow in question. Spark looks at all the girls and Jillian replies,

"Well…the Rowdy Girls TOOK OVER THE BATHROOM! AND IT'S THE ONE WITH THE HOTTIE LIST!" Jillian panics a little bit and then Laterose holds her.

"Its alright, girl. You'll be ok. You have a boyfriend and you're lucky you're not single. The Hottie List is for single ladies anyway…well…not the Rank chart."

"What's the 'Hottie List?' and what is the 'Rank Chart'?" Spark asked, doing air quotes as he did, seeing as he had no clue where this was going.

"The 'Hottie List' is a list that all the girls make up. Each girl writes the name of a dude they like and others comment on that guy saying stuff like 'cool', 'hot', 'jerk', 'total tool', 'sexy', and so on." Lily said.

"Oh…I bet my name is in there." Spark said in a cocky done.

"Want me to be honest?" Lily said, "You are nowhere in sight of that list."

Spark rolls his eyes and then remembers the Ranking chart.

"What about that chart. I bet I'm on that one."

"You are." Laterose said. "Jillian, Rogue and I are in charge of that list for the sixth grade Hierarchy. Each week, the girls will rank the guys from one to 200. There are 200 boys in this school, anyways."

"What's my number?" He asked, feeling a little giddy deep, deep down.

"Well there is someone you need to thank for that rank…Ms. Polly."

The girls 'ooh' and 'aw' like its cute, but Spark blushes and tries to remain cool. He then has a good way in keeping that.

"Gee, thanks Polly. I knew I would have an awesome friend out of you." he said dramatically and he then hugs her, leaving Polly speechless and blushing.

"N-No problem, Spark."

"Well, boy, your rank is 15, behind Antoine."

"Eww, him?" he said in disgust,

"But, you are one rank higher than Razor." she pointed out. "Good" was all Spark said as he got a book inside his locker.

"Well, I am heading to lunch, you ladies coming?"

"Let's go, I bet Todd's gonna prank the jocks again." Jillian said as the girls roll his eyes. Spark had yet another plan to embarrass his new friend a little more, for the fun of it. He takes out his arm and asks,

"Shall we?"

Polly rolls her eyes and just takes his arm, now they both walk with their arms crossed. After getting their lunches, they see Shadow and the gang along with Karen and Lust, looking a little down.

"Hey guys, lemme guess, you guys just found out?"

"That the Rowdy Girls took over the bathroom? Yep." Amy stated.

"HEY, Su!" called a dark black squirrel in a red long sleeved shirt with a biker's jacket and wore red jeans with black runners. Her name was Crazy.

"HEY CRAZY, WHY DON'T YOU AND YOUR GIRLS MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!" Lily shouted from across the cafeteria. Polly tells Lily to shush, but Lily refuses.

"Hope to see you, Su, and Rose at the bathroom for a round of swirlies!" a dark orange hedgehog/kitsune said.

(I'm sorry she's the total opposite CRAZYNUTSQUIRREL, but I need 3 girls who are obsessed with Shadow.)

"See ya, suckers." said a black and yellow hedgehog who went by the name of Shade. Before they leave together, they all say in Unison.

"Hi Shadow!" and all together winked at him as Shadow covers his face in shame.

"God, I hate them!" Lily said. Polly rolls her eyes and Spark says,

"Well, that was pleasant." He then had a thought and decides to ask the girls about the rank chart.

"Hey girls, I just heard about the rank chart in the girls' room. How does a guy get a good ranking?"

Amy then answers,

"Take Shadow for example, he's ranked number 2 on the sixth grade Ranking Charts." The girls giggle as Spark and Knuckles roll their eyes as Shadow wakes up to the reality.

"WHOA, WAIT A SECOND!!! I AM ON THAT STUPID LIST AFTER I TOLD YOU GUYS TO TAKE ME OFF?!?!?!?!"

"Well, don't tell us that, Shadow." Julie-Su said, "Blame A-Ugh!" She was cut off when Amy elbows her in the stomach.

"The girls who want you there!"

Shadow raises a brow, but then shrugs it off.

"Well, like I said, since you are number two, girls vote weekly on who's hot and who's not…and it's the cute or popular guys."

"Heh." Shadow laughed as Knuckles' jaw dropped.

"AM I NOT ON THERE?" he asked. The girls look at the echidna and shake their heads. Spark and Shadow snicker and Knuckles just rolls his eyes.

"You are…just that your rank sucks." Lily said. Knuckles sighs,

"At least I'm not ranked 2."

Shadow then realizes something,

"Who's number 1?" he asks the girls as Spark and Knuckles turn their heads also.

"-sigh- Scourge."

The guys' jaws dropped in shock as they look over to see the school bully spitting spitballs.

"WHAT." Spark began.

"The" Knuckles adds on.

"HELL!" Shadow ended as they all show mad faces. Out of nowhere Todd suggests an idea.

"One of you nancies should just sneak in the girls' room and move your ranks, that's why I stay in rank 11." he then jumps into a trash can.

"YES, AN UNFINISHED PIZZA AND ITS FRESH!"

"Wow…I don't know what to say after that." Spark said as he took a bite of a sandwich. Polly shakes her head and Amy says,

"Well, Julie-Su and I want to see the list, so it has to be one of us…" she then looks at Julie-Su. Her response was looking at her wide-eyed and shaking her head.

"Oooh No! I am not going in there just to see what girls say about these two clowns." she said as she points her finger towards Shadow and Knuckles, who were just whistling a random tune while Lily and Polly share lunch and Spark along with Lust have a conversation with Karen, all of them not paying any attention to the gang.

"Well…we will play rock, paper, scissors for it."

"1.2.3 GO!"

They make their draw and a voice shouts in victory.

"YES!" she said.

"DAMN! NO!" was all Julie-Su had to say. They go back to their lunch hour and after that, Shadow once again appears out of nowhere and begins to talk to the readers once again.

"If hallway bathrooms scare the crud out of you, like they do for my friend, check these tips."

The scene switches to where Shadow and the others are in gym class.

_!st Tip: Take advantage of the other bathrooms. If you're in gym, you can go when everyone else is gone._

Shadow then makes a run for it to his next location.

_2__nd__ Tip: If you need to take…2, if you can, go to the nurse's office, make up an excuse that you have a 'stomachache' and 9 out of 10 times she'll ask._

The nurse turns to face Shadow after messing around with a jar of Vaseline, she says,

"You have to go to the bathroom?"

Shadow turns back to his readers,

_That's where you say, yes._

Shadow then runs to his final location, the 6th grade Hallway, by Julie-Su's math class and makes his final tip of the day.

_Final Tip: If you cant fully avoid hallway bathrooms, go during class, when everyone is gone and they're in their class. Just ask for the hall pass._

Julie-Su asks for the hall pass and her teacher hands it over. She walks out the classroom and she sees Shadow by the door. Once she is out of the room, she turns to Shadow and says,

"This is a bad idea. A good idea because I get to see the "Hottie List" and the "Rank Chart", but bad because you may lose your rank and Knuckles is gonna get hurt."

"No, it's a good idea, have I steered you wrong, Jules?"

"Not yet." she replied as Shadow rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Just go in, make sure you have two different markers. Go to the stall with the "hot list' and make sure you write our friend's name on it in a different marker and with different handwriting and the rest will be followed.

The pink echidna sighs and just goes into the girls' room. Once she was in, she goes into the second stall. Once she closed the door, it reveals two lists on the sides of the stall and one on the door. She turns to the left where it says 'Hottie List"

"_Ok…"_

Julie-Su takes out a marker and writes 'Knuckles?' using her left hand so it can look like someone else wrote on it. She then takes a red marker and writes 'Hottie!" in cursive, dotting the 'i' with a heart. After that, she gets out the stall and goes up to the wall of the girls' room. She looks up to see a new list of 'Rankings'

"Ok…" she murmured to herself as she looked around for her gullible red friend and her persistent hedgehog friend. She finds Shadow at number…1!

"-hiss- this isn't good when Shadow hears about this."

She then looks for Knuckles. His number, 10.

"Not to shabby. I'm OUT!"

She then heads for the door and before she leaves, she sees Tikal.

"Tikal."

"Julie-Su."

They look at one another before Julie-Su rushes out the bathroom. Tikal looks around in suspicion, but then shrugs it off as she enters the stall with the lists.

School ends as the sun goes down and everyone heads home for a round of homework.

The next day, the bell rings at its usual time of 8 am and as Shadow takes out his Social Studies book, she sees Knuckles, with his legs crossed and jumping around.

"I forgot to go this morning!" he squeaked as he jumped around in his place. The girls come by and they look at Shadow. Then, Chaos, Shadow's 5th grader brother walks by.

"HEEY SHADS! WHATS WITH KNUCKLEHEAD?"

"Chaos. Go. To. Your. HALL!" Shadow snarls through his teeth, not liking that his fifth grade brother is around.

"Ouch, FINE THEN! HEEEY AMES, I HAVE A SECRET FOOOOOR YOU! SHADOW --"

Shadow jumps on his brother and grabs him into a headlock.

"I mean to say-- he works out daily! You should totally drop by! I miss your cookies!"

Amy giggles and says,

"I will try, Chaos."

"BYE!" he said as he ran to his hallway.

"You were saying Knuckles?" Shadow asked as he turned to his red friend. Julie-Su stops them and says, along with Amy in unison.

"He forgot to go this morning."

Knuckles sighs and says,

"I can hold it."

Amy and Julie-Su shake their heads and Shadow agrees. Julie-Su then remembers about the list and says,

"Are you sure you want to hear his listings? OH, and I have yours too."

"Lets do this." he said. She takes out a piece of looseleaf and before saying anything, she says,

"Ok, don't say I warn you."

Shadow nods and then Spark walks by, talking to Tails.

"Let me guess, the lists?" Tails asked. Shadow nods and they walk away. Amy looks at her cellphone and says,

"I will catch you guys later, Silver and I are going to class. Bye" she then walks away.

"OK…" Shadow read out loud.

"Knuckles…Hottie."

Knuckles nods,

"hot tempered, short, short, ask me in five years when he's hotter. THESE STINK!" Shadow replied. Julie-Su then hands him another piece of paper. It had Shadow's listings.

"These are mine?'

"Yeppers."

"Ok.." shadow then said out loud his listings.

"Shadow the Hedgehog. Smexy, Hottie!, Cute, Huggable, and pretty boy???" He looks up at her and asks,

"WHAT THE HECK?! WHO WROTE PRETTY BOY? " Shadow snapped as Knuckles and Julie-Su backed up.

"Well…I went in the bathroom this morning and I saw three kiss marks, with lipstick."

"Someone kissed my name on a dirty bathroom wall…for ME?" Shadow asked, not believing this. Then the kids see their favorite Janitor, Anderson, and he says, after hearing what the kids were talking about.

"Ahh, that is a sign of true love my friend."

Shadow looks with confusion, but shrugs it off.

"You don't think Amy did it, do you?" Shadow asks.

"Nope. Amy doesn't wear lipstick. All you have to do is see who wears lipstick and match the color to those girls."

Before Shadow asks Julie-Su another favor, she says,

"NO, I will NOT help you. Good luck and bye." she walks off and Shadow and Anderson try to think up a plan.

"I got it!" Anderson exclaimed.

"What's the plan."

They sneak into the girls' room thanks to the janitor in a garbage can. Shadow gets his sampling and his mission for the day: find out who kissed his name.

In the seventh grade halls, Spark and Polly along with Chaos mind their business and they decide to go to the vending machines, since Chaos wanted a soda and Spark was in the mood for hot cheetos.

"So…I wonder if Knuckles went on that date." Chaos said as they waited for Spark to take out a dollar, only realizing that he has no change.

"Crap, does anyone have five bucks in singles?" he asks as Chaos shrugged. He knew what Polly wanted to do.

"I think I do, but I have only four. Let's ask someone else." She said as Lily along with Wolf came by the vending machines.

(Wolf is Silver Wolf's nickname in the story, since using Silver twice is confusing. We have: Silver t. Hedgehog and Silver Wolf.)

"Hey Wolf, you got change for a 5?"

The platinum wolf shook his head and before Spark asked Lily, she shakes her head.

"Well, Doll face, looks like I will take on your offer. Here you are, oh and don't worry about the other dollar, its cool."

Polly hands him the money and Spark gets his chips, only for the bullies to try and mooch him off.

"HEY, GET YOUR OWN CHEEP-OS." he shouted as Manic tries to steal some chips, and he trips Polly.

"Ow! WATCH IT, YOU KLUTZ!" She snarled in pain as she noticed her jeans got torn and sees a scrape from Manic's spikes on his board. Spark sees this and kicks Manic's ankle, causing him to fall.

"Hey, your mom ever taught you manners when it came to girls and women?"

"Whats it to ya, Sparky?" he snarled. Spark grabbed him by the collar and said,

"Ya know, the best thing about this school is that there are many abandoned halls where I can knock your teeth out without the teachers knowin', see what I'm sayin?"

Manic snarls and tries to get out of Spark's grip. Spark's last words were made clear.

"Apologize to her."

He turns Manic towards Polly, who was sitting on the floor checking her injury. She looks up as Spark holds Manic, who murmurs,

"Sorry…"

He drops him and he jumps back on his board and glides away. Poison walks by and sees what was going on.

"Whoa, what happened, Spark?"

"Some loser was giving me problems, and added bonus he tripped Polly and had hurt her. I made him apologize."

"Wow, Spark, how noble. You should win a peace prize." He replied as the gold and blue hedgehog rolled his eyes. He looks to his lovely lady friend as her friends ask is she was ok.

"Polly, you ok?" was all around the only thing her friends and later on Amy and Silver asked as she got up and brushed dust off herself.

"I'm fine, I just got knocked over, guys. But the one you should ask and thank is Spark. He made Manic apologize."

They kept chatting as Spark and Poison had their own conversation. Then Ares and Todd see this crowd by the vending machines and ask, but before a word came out of either of them, Spark answers,

"Polly got tripped by Manic, who tried to mooch me off and I made him apologize to her. There."

Ares smirks as Todd goes to see her.

"Hey, Polly, I heard about what happened. All good now, right?" he asks. She nods and replies back,

"Thanks to Spark" she said, smiling. She sees Spark with Poison and Ares. Spark looks over and waves, making her smile.

"So…you and Polly…together?" Ares asked. They wait for Spark's answer, until they see Lust's sister, Envy running through the halls hyperactive and jumpy.

"GUYS GUYS GUYS! RUN FOR IT! SOMETHING BAD IS GONNA HAPPEN SOON!!!! HAHAHAHA!"

Todd looks and decides,

"What the heck, IM RUNNING!" he skedaddles off behind Envy and they begin to feel shaking.

"Whoa, I wonder how Lust deals with her sister." Lily says to herself as everyone went back to their business.

Back in the halls, Shadow was beginning to lose hope and drop the mission. He goes to see Amy and ask about what he should do. He didn't lose hope, hoping Amy was the one.

He leans on a locker as Amy grabbed book. Before he said a word, Anderson stands behind her, with her not noticing, and puts the sample behind her so Shadow can do a match. When he looks, he opens his eyes wide-eyed and shouted,

"IT'S A MIRACLE!"

He then rolls into a ball and rolls off. Amy looks in confusion but gets back to getting her books for class.

At Lunch, Shadow and the gang sit at the same lunch table and then later came Spark, and Todd, both slurping their sodas, making Knuckles twitch.

"Still didn't go?" Julie-Su asked. Knuckles shook his head and began to sweat a little, seeing as he was in small pain.

"So, found your match?"

"Uh huh, Amy."

Julie-Su opens her eyes in shock and spits out her juice into Spark and Todd's faces.

"This is soo gross, but quite refreshing!" Todd exclaimed as Spark felt himself throw up a bit in his throat. Both boys walk away and Julie-Su replies, along with Knuckles who just squeaked,

"AMY!? You sure, it could be Tikal, since she was the last person to enter the stall after me."

Shadow spits out his juice and then Knuckles couldn't handle it no more.

"I think I just leaked out!"

"GO TO THE DAMN NURSE'S OFFICE!"

Knuckles makes a run for the nurse's office. Shadow looks on as Knuckles ran with as much speed as he could. He finally makes it to the Nurse's office and asks for the bathroom.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?" she asked, annoyed with the constant asking of students.

"YES! I DO!"

"Well, you're gonna have to wait. Danny Cravings is in there with the runs, not the best case either."

Knuckles could hear the groaning of that poor kid and the squeaking farts. Knuckles officially didn't want to enter there.

"I think I can handle it." he squealed as he ran back to his Science class. That didn't do so well on him either. He squirmed as Mr. Sweeny T talked about the Elements.

"Now, can anyone tell me the element with the letter P?"

Knuckles twitched as he looked at the liquids in class.

"Now, c'mon think! What has the letter P!"

"Polonium?" Shay answered,

"NO! P, P, P, P!"

Knuckles twitched with each 'P' and he then had enough.

"GOD, ITS PHOSPHORUS! NOW EXCUSE ME, NATURE IS CALLING 911!"

Knuckles grabs the hall pass and dashes for the Bathroom. After a few seconds, Knuckles lets out a sigh of relief. When he opens his eyes…it was a male's nightmare. He sees the hottie list on the door and he sneakily opens the door, and sees Polly putting on Lipgloss and gets a new one from the lip-gloss vending machines.

(ITS AWESOME!)

'-GASP!-"

The bell rings as Julie-Su and Shadow walk down the halls and they talk about what Julie-Su said this morning.

"I will confess her my feelings!" Shadow said.

"Look, what if it wasn't Amy and its one of the snooty rich girls? You're gonna get someone hurt."

"Relax, I doubt that, all they care about is weather their daddy will let them get a credit card and I don't think Patty Perez is that smart…or Sonia and Rouge either."

They reach the girls' room and Julie-Su quivers a bit.

"What if the Rowdy Girls are in there…I'm alone, I could get hurt…."

"-hiss-, yeah…"

Before saying a word, Shadow shoves Julie-Su into the bathroom. Thank god the girl bullies weren't there. It was just herself, Kappa and Assesina.

"Hey, Amy!"

"Hi Assesina, Kappa!"

Both girls wave hello and walk out the bathroom. She decides to enter the second stall like she did before, but this time, there was something different. She knocks and Knuckles, in his best girly voice, says,

"Ahem, taken."

She shakes her head and then realizes who that was, and it was not a girl. She knocks on the door and asks,

"KNUCKLES?!"

Knuckles quickly opens the door and pulls Julie-Su in and he begins to panic.

(AGAIN, SORRY FOR HIS OOCness)

"YOU GOTTA HELP ME!

"Hold that thought." Julie-Su says, as she then writes a comment on the 'list'

"YOU GOTTA GET ME OUTTA HERE BEFORE ANYONE SEES ME OR ELSE I WILL BE RUINED LIKE SHADOW!"

'DON'T PANIC, WE WILL HELP!" She said as she tried to come up with a plan.

"Shadow…we have problems."

Shadow gathers Anderson, Julie-Su and Amy so they can get their friend out.

"OK, here's the mission. This boy's future is at stake and even though I was only in 4th grade, I will not let what happened to me, happen to my gullible friend. Lets go!"

They nod in agreement. Amy and Julie-Su enter the bathroom, both wearing shades as they carry bags filled with toilet paper.

_Girls, you two are 'the cloggers'. You two will put pressure on the drains in the toilets and put 5 times that pressure so the water can come up. Then get out!_

Both girls go in, put toilet paper in all the toilets and they begin to flush, causing the water to come up.

_Then, myself, I will go to the nearest teacher and report after walking into the water. I am. The Trigger. _

Shadow 'walks' into the water, disgusted, he goes to Mr. Hancock's classroom to report and he begins to panic.

"Dirty water…DIRTY WATER!"

He rushes to the office as Shadow smirks in accomplishment.

_And Anderson, you will be…well Anderson, our awesome school janitor._

The brown hare comes to the scene and the teacher was amazed at his quickness.

"My, that was fast!"

"I'm a hare after all." he said as he was wearing a haz-mat suit. He comes in with a trash can and mop.

"I'm goin' in!"

He goes in there as the school begins to shake. Back in antoher classroom, Spark and Karen were working on an art project and they began to feel the school shake.

"Wow, so I guess Envy wasn't just hyper, huh.'

"Agreed."

Anderson finally stops the shaking and takes out the 'trash' and mess in a blue trash bag, where Knuckles hid.

"Whoo, thank goodness. Don't worry about the paper, I'll have the night guy do it." he groaned as he pulls Knuckles out in the trash bag.

They go into an abandoned hall and they grab Knuckles out. He catches his breath and says,

"THANK YOU!"

_So, Knuckles made it out alive, and unseen by our classmates and the upperclassmen. As for me? Well…its time to confront one of my best friends._

Shadow takes a deep breath and he walks towards Amy and asks,

"Hey Ames, heard about my name in the girls' room?"

Amy smiles and says,

"Yeah! I know who did it?"

"Let me guess it was y-"

"The Rowdy girls. Its amazing."

"WHO??!"

Shadow turns around and sees the three crazy girls, who were waving and smiling.

"I let them borrow my lipstick. Bye"

Shadow looks in confusion and fear. He then makes a dash for it as the girls chase after him.

"I NEED TIPS FOR THIS!" he shouts as he runs for his life. Amy, Julie-Su and Knuckles look at one another as Julie-Su ends this with saying,

"I told him, he was gonna get hurt."

"Agreed." the others replied.

"Let's call Spark and the others. Maybe they want to go to the skate park?"

"Dunno, lets go." they said as they leave the school.

* * *

_OK OK OK! Awesome??? OK, tell me your thoughts and I will come by soon with the next 'episode'! UP NEXT: PROJECT PARTNERS._


	5. Project Partners

Shadow's Declassifed School Survival Guide Chapter 4: Project Partners

* * *

"Your first class project will be…mummification." a voice began. The class sighs in discontent, especially Spark, Julie-Su and Scourge

"And Ancient Egyptian burial rights. Wont that be fun?" he asked the class as Todd yawned and everyone else looked around.

"But one good thing, you get to pick your own partner!"

Once the word partner was said, all the students in Mr. Rite's class scrambled to find a partner. Spark caught up with Todd. Amy looks around and finds Jillian, Dom and his co-star Wolf pair up before anyone got the chance to ask either one, and Julie-Su looks for someone different today.

Then out of the corner of the classroom, Shadow appears and looks to the readers.

_Project Partners, an important choice before marriage--WAIT, WHY DO I SAY THIS?_

_**As the Author, I decide what you say and when. Besides, no pain in making you a little gullible. This is sixth grade, bud. I know, I was there and I did a-ok. **_

_Ugh….Ok._

_Project Partners, an important choice before Marriage. Its probably the most important because __YOU __will be graded. ._

The scene is then changed to a wedding alter with Shadow as priest, and wearing ridiculous looking glasses.

(like Cartman in South Park)

_But before you commit, get to know the three types of project partners. _

Shadow stands holding an English book as Julie-Su stands next to an orange kitsune in a unbuttoned dress shirt and jeans with a red shirt underneath.

Shadow snaps his fingers and Todd busts onto the scene and begins to play the 'organ' and 'Wedding March' plays.

_**Project Partner type 1- Smart and Squirrely: A good choice and its decent, but be careful of your actions. For someone's feelings can get hurt. They tend to do most of the work, but you need to put insight into the project too. A Sensible choice! **_

Shadow begins,

"Do You Julie-Su, take Martin Squirrelly to be your project partner. To let him do all the work and get an A, and thinks you're his best friend on the way and cling onto you like a lost puppy?"

Julie-Su makes an uncomfortable face and says,

"I don't!" as Todd makes a brief stop with the music.

_**Project Partner type 2- The Reliable Friend: As the name implies, a reliable friend can help you through on mid-project dilemma. **_

"Do you, Julie-Su, take Shay Edwards, your reliable friend, to be your Project partner? To share the work evenly and maybe have a few laughs along the way?" Shadow asked with begging eyes, seeing as he held a heavy text book and his arm was getting tired.

"I Don't"

Todd once again puts the music at a halt.

_**Project Partner type 3- The Hottie: There are better people out there to work with, besides, most make others do most of the work. =[**_

"Do you, Julie-Su, take Jordan Sparxx to be your partner. To have him be gawked at by you and you alone, and you do all the work?"

"I DO!" she squealed as Shadow shakes his head and Amy along with Lust shake their heads too. In the halls, Julie-Su, Amy, Shadow, and Jillian walk down the hall, asking why Julie-Su picked the womanizing lion.

"Out of all the partners, you pick Jordan? You're gonna do all the work!"

"Hello!? He's the MVP of the school basketball team!"

"Well that's a lie" Amy said as the echidna rolled her eyes.

"If you want someone 'hot' why not pick Ares?"

"Too hot and he's Late's" She replied as Shadow and Amy roll their eyes.

"ALWAYS! ALWAYS pick the reliable friend partner. Like me and Knuckles in Life Science."

Then before Shadow could finish his sentence, Knuckles looks around frantically and says,

"I LOST THE BABY!"

Shadow's rage builds and he shouts,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST THE BABY?!?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I MEAN, ONE MINUTE, THE BABY WAS THERE, THEN…BAM! NO BABY! BABY GONE!"

Shadow wanted to sock him and before he lunges at him, Amy stops them.

"OK MOTHERS, calm down. Knuckles, have any clue where it was the last time you had it?"

Knuckles thinks for a minute, He then remembers…

_Flashback…_

"_YOU GET JULIE SU TO BE MY PARTNER AND YOU WILL GET THE BABY BACK." Scourge snarled as he, Manik and Tazmania held Knuckles against a locker in the halls._

_He shakes his head, knowing he would get pummled because Tazmania had the ability to suck away or stop powers from working._

_Scourge drops him an takes away the baby, leaving Knuckles. _

_END OF FLASHBACK…_

"HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT?!" Julie-Su, Amy and Shadow snarl.

"What, I repressed it! It was traumatic. it's a normal response." he said as they roll their eyes and Knuckles, Shadow and Amy walk to lunch.

"Why does he want to be my partner?" she asked.

"He said you are hot!" Knuckles replied as Julie-Su looked at them disgusted.

"So all we have to do it get Jules to be his partner and we have the baby back."

Before they turn to Julie-Su, she runs off and leaving Amy alone.

"Well…I better find Silver. Bye."

She runs off, leaving the boys with each other.

"So…what's plan B?" Knuckles asked as Shadow shrugs his shoulders and they were off to lunch.

"So…any idea on breaking them up?"

"NO, FOR THE BILLIONTH TIME." Shadow snarled through his teeth.

As they head to their lunch period and Spark along with Todd and Polly with Lily as her partner and they talk about what they will do for their Ancient Egypt project.

"How about…Ancient Egyptian Writing?" Lily asked her partner.

"How about…Clothing and Jewelry?"

"Eh, could work." Lily replied as she opens her locker. She takes out her Home Ec book and a ball of white clay.

"What's with the clay?" Todd asked. Then came in sisters Lust and Envy along with Kappa and Assesina. With Assesina and Kappa was a new girl. She seemed a bit nerdy with a pair of pink horned glasses and wearing a collared shirt and a skirt with ballet styled shoes

(remember, we're in the early 2000s, The graduating class here is 2005)

"Hi guys! This is Stari. She's new!" Assesina says as she snorts up medicine. Kappa then finishes.

"Well, she has no friends and we're showin her around. Introduce yourselves" She said almost emotionlessly.

"Yo, my name is Spark." the hedgehog began.

"I'm Todd, the beloved class clown." he said as he waves 'hi'

"I'm Lily and this is my great friend Polly!" She said as she shakes her hand and Polly smiles. She smiles back and they hear the bell ring.

"Crud, c'mon, I don't want to miss the Pizza!" Todd said as Spark remembers what he did a few days before in the garbage cans.

"Ok…Pizza is no longer my favorite lunch food." He said as he felt his stomach gurgle. They head for lunch as Kappa and Assesina along with their new friend head for their class, Chemistry.

In the Lunch Room, Sonic and Shay sit with one another, having a great talk and Shay seemed a bit down.

"Hey…what's buggin ya?" Sonic asked as Shay as she takes a bite of an apple.

"I think I should break up with Scourge. I mean… all he does is go after EVERY SINGLE GIRL, especially Fiona."

Sonic raises an brow and says,

"Gee, I knew he was a player but god, that just takes the cake."

Shay sighs and just finishes the apple. Sonic then has a plan.

"Ya know, if you want to, since the Back to School dance is comin' up, maybe…you and I could go together.?"

She smiles brightly and nods.

"Deal!" She squealed and hugs him bye before she misses on her yearbook meeting. Back with Shadow and Knuckles, Shadow tries to think of a way to get their 'baby' back.

"We need the baby by 7TH PERIOD! What will Scourge do with a doll?"

As Knuckles takes a bite of his chicken sandwhich, Knuckles opens his lunch box and then finds a toy limb.

"-GASP!-"

Shadow looks over and rolls his eyes,

"Quit that." he said as he takes the limb and sees a note on it. It read…

_Make 'Su' my partner or you'll never see baby again. BONUS: I beat you up at 3:30 on Friday. _

"Great! Hancock is gonna bust us about losing the baby and WE WILL DIE THANKS TO THAT NO GOOD RAT TAZMANIA!"

"NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" Knuckles shouted back. He then has a memory…

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

"Just remembering the good times…with the BABY!" he balled. He then remembers when he and Shadow were learning about injuries and bath time. Without him noticing, Shadow sneaks away. After a few moments, Knuckles wakes up and then sees shadow, standing up and looking at him.

"C'mon!"

Back with Julie-Su, she and her partner try to discuss on the project, but he just spins his basketball and girls wave hello.

"So…I thought we should build a--"

"You're not done?" he asked aloofly as he spins his basketball.

"No…we have to WORK on it TOGETHER" she snarled. He sighs and says,

"Whatever. Your point is…?" he replied. She rolls her eyes and tries to think up an idea.

In Life Science, Mr. Hancock inspects everyone's baby and he was finishing checking on Lily and Andy's baby. Then came Shadow and Knuckles, the alternative family.

"Guys, where's your baby?" he asked and then comes closer to the boys so he can see if the baby was under the blanket, only for Shadow to snap at Mr. Hancock by saying.

"SHHH! She was up all night with a fever! She's got a chill."

"Except her leg." Knuckles added.

He then looks suspiciously and then tries to flip open the blanket, only for Shadow to snap again,

"AHH! DON'T! Germs!" he says as he fixes the blanket that covered the baby's 'head', which wasn't there.

"Wow. Not only is the intensity of your parenting impressive, but its also…very scary." he said. He then smiles, claps his hands and says,

"OK, Monday, I'm gonna give the babies a full exam and place a bulk of your grade! Wont that be fun?!"

Shadow's jaw dropped in sync with the baby's limb. Knuckles quickly picks up before the teacher sees. Shadow turns to Knuckles and says,

"WE need to get those parts back!" they said in unison and sat down in their class. In another classroom, Mr. Rite along with Julie-Su and Jordan try to settle out the dilemma that Julie-Su and her partner arent working out well.

"So… what seems to be the problem? It has come to my attention that you two are having issues."

The MVP begins by saying,

"She nags 'We have to do the project, its due on Friday'." he said as he spins a basketball

"All he does is slack off, makes me wanna sock him to it."

"Um, it is due Friday and you should care." Mr. Rite says, "And you have to pick a topic."

"She didn't even listen to my ideas."

"Well, we can start right there. What did you have in mind, Sparxx?"

"Here we go…Ancient. Egyptan. Basketball!"

Both raise their eye and Mr. Rite corrects him and says, "Basketball was invented in 1891 by Dr. James Naismith."

Jordan sighs and replies, without any interest whatsoever.

"Fine, take her side."

Julie-Su rolls her eyes and then the two begin arguing it out Mr. Rite's class.

"SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH?!"

They keep it going as Mr. Rite shakes his head.

NEXT DAY…

Back with the others, everyone is in study hall working on the rest of their projects. Tazmania and Manic are dressed as Pharaohs and Manic is a Civillian. Polly dresses herself as Cleopatra with handmade jewelry and Lily wears a white tunic and jewels on her neck. Spark and Todd show off their mummified chicken and they did over the past two weeks. Everyone new Friday was almost here so those who waited at the last minute, especially the bullies were rushing to get things done so they could be graded

"Its baby Class, we don't have a baby, we'll get an F! And it also means that we are bad parents." Knuckles said.

"Usually something hits me.' Shadow said, then something hits him in the back of the head. The item lands on the ground and Knuckles picks it up. it's a toy baby's abdomen.

"-gasp-!"

"OW!" Shadow shouts. Knuckles finds a note on the baby and it reads…

_You get your baby back piece by piece, until Julie-Su is my partner. NOW WHAT!?_Shadow's mind has an idea and a ding pops up.

"We do nothing. You see, Scourge is going to give us doll parts and if we hold our long enough, we will have all the pieces by Friday. Its all good."

Knuckles nods in agreement and Shadow attaches the baby limb to the body. Over the course of the week, Shadow and Knuckles find baby parts.

Days Later…

On Wednesday, Shadow finds another limb in his locker and then attaches it to the baby. The day after, Shadow found a baby arm in his meatball sub and he looked in shock. Today is Friday and Knuckles finds a baby arm in his shoes. He nods in accomplishment and attatches the other arm to the almost complete baby.

"Now we just have to wait for that idiot to give us the baby head on Monday and we'll have it all!"

"Scourge's so dumb." Knuckles replied. Then Mr. Hancock came to the boys and said,

"Oh boys, I have a meeting Monday so the baby inspection will be Today! Won't that be fun?"

"AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!….I mean-- OOOOHHHH! Yeah…that would be fun!" Knuckles exclaims as Mr. Hancock and Shadow look at him in confusion. Mr. Hancock goes back to smiling and walks to his class. After he leaves, Shadow and Knuckles look at one another and then to the baby. Shadow and Knuckles begins to panic a bit.

"AHHHRRRGHH!"

Back with Julie-Su, Shadow and Knuckles walk down the halls and they beg her to be her partner. Its unlike them, but what choice did they have with knowing that Tazmania would suck up their powers and ablilities.

"No, Scourge is not my partner. I think Jordan and I will be ok."

"PLEASE! WE WILL FAIL IF WE SHOW UP WITH BABY NO HEAD!" they said in unison as Knuckles pretends to ball to soften her up.

"You know crying doesn't work."

"Damn." he replied. Then came Andy Otter.

"Julie-Su, Andy Otter, Attorney of Law."

"Andy, I knew you since pre-k" she said as Andy rolls his eyes and Shadow looks on with his friend.

With the other groups, Spark and Todd are done putting the finishing touches to their projects.

"Hey, Spark. King Butt, get it? King Tut, but change it to Butt. King Butt!"

"Haha, that's SO not funny."

"Whatever. Anywho….you like Poll?"

"Polly? She's pretty cool. She also has this awesome talent, and when Lily and I came over, dude…her sliders are…AWESOME!"

"You know what they say, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Speaking of food, I think I'm gonna sneak into the lunch room before anything else. We'll let King Butt rest."

"Cool, let's go!"

Back with Julie-Su and the gang, Andy comes up to the echidna and states his claim.

"I represent Jordaniel Aaron Sparxx and he stated irreconcilable differences. He has asked for a divorce."

"WHOA, WHAT?!" She yelled as she balled her hands into fists. Amy sees what's going on and asks Andy.

"So now what?"

"Well, he is leaving him for Martin Squirrelly. His project was already completed and he let Jordan put his name on it." He stated as Julie-Su shakes her head.

"So now what am I to do, Andy?"

"You are now free to find a partner. Finding a partner this late is zero to none. Good Day." he said and then walks away.

Shadow and Knuckles nod and smirk in accomplishment as Julie-Su and Amy look at one another.

_Chances are that you wont ever do a project partner for a doll head exchange, but if you are, make sure the terms are CLEAR!_

Shadow and the gang and the bullies meet face to exchange for what they needed.

:DO YOU KIDS HAVE HALL PASSES?!" a teacher asked from a distance. The kids show their hall passes and then the teacher says,

"Ok."

The gang look at the bullies with keen eyes and the bullies to the same.

"Show me the head." Shadow snarled. Scourge shows off the head. He then says,

"Show me my partner." he said. Julie-Su walks forward and says,

"ONLY if you agree to do what I tell you."

He nods and then tosses the doll head to Knuckles, who catches it and then he remembers something and says,

"Oh and see you at three thirty for your beating!"

"What the hell, well I outta--"

"Since you didn't make it part of the deal! Hahaha!" Scourge cackles as Julie-Su angrily yanks him away.

"C'mon! ITS DUE 7th Peroid!" she snarls as he drags him away. Shadow looks over and sees Andy who says,

"And this is why you should use a lawyer."

Shadow rolls his eyes as the boys finally head to Life Science. After entering the class, it way baby inspection time!

It was Shadow and Knuckles' turn and Mr. Hancock begins inspecting their baby.

"Well, at least we'll pass this class."

"-GASP!- are these teeth marks???!" he asked in concern.

"Oh, Shadow found that in a sandwich---Oops!"

"A baby sandwich?"

Shadow smacks his head and wanted to beat the stuffing out of Knuckles' brain.

_So, Julie-Su got herself the perfect project partner. Coopertive and commited to the project, which landed her with and A and my favorite mental image of Scourge being beaten by his own friends. Great. _

"PROTECT THE WOMEN!" shouted Tazmania as he grabs a decoration from the sarcophagus and began to beat up Scourge with it.

"GUYS! ITS ME! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT, I'M GONNA KNOCK THE CRAP OUT OF YA!""OH YEAH!? WELL THE REAL SCOURGE WOULDN'T BEG FOR US TO STOP!" Manic shouted as he kept on pummeling Scourge with the cane and Tazmania stopped his powers.

"Why you guys look so down?" Amy asked as she watched what was unfolding.

"We got a C" they said in unison.

"And we have to attend 'Alternative Family Counseling'" Shadow added as he rolled his eyes. They then look at what was going on.

"ARGHH!" scourge shouted in pain as he was beaten up. But then before Manic did something else, he sees Spark behind Shadow and remembers that Shadow was owed a beating and Manic had his own concerns with Spark.

"So why is Manic and Taz beating the stuffing out of Scourge?"

"Because they think he's a mummy." Polly relplied, dressed up as Cleopatra and Lily next to her as a lady in waiting.

"You know, you look hot as Cleopatra." he commented. And before Polly got the chance to thank him. Knuckles shouts,

"RUN! HE'S AFTER US!"

Both boys began running and Spark follows. In hopes that he won't find all the boys at once, they divided.

"CALL ME, K?" Spark shouts as he dashes across the halls.

Polly and Lily roll their eyes and they head back inside the classroom. After running for some distance, Shadow makes a stop and says,

_So remember, with project partners, its ALL about TEAMWORK! _

He then gets back to running and then followed Mr. Rite.

"RUN, SHADOW, RUN!"

* * *

_OK It sucked huh? Oh well. Next Up, .CRUSHES…OH NOES! COULD IT BE??!?!?! LOVE?! NOOO_


	6. Crushes

Shadow's Declassified School Survival Guide Chapter 5: Crushes.

_FACT: This is taking place in the 2000s. Shadow and the gang are in the 6th Grade (Except Chaos and Mia who are in 5th) and this takes place in 2002-2004 (Graduation Day). Shadow and the gang are in 6th and this will go until they are graduating (8th Grade). I will have a page dedicated to the gang and the entire 'cast' of this Parody =]]_

_

* * *

_

Another day, another round of homework and dumb drama over tests. In Mobius Elementary, it's a totally different story. It was Crush Season. Love can be seen all around the school. One direction would show a mobian echidna falling for a girl rabbit as he follows her in with a lovey-dovey look and ends up crashing into a locker door, falling on his back.

From behind the wall, Shadow appears holding his guide/doodle book, shaking his head at the poor echidna. He then begins talking to the readers.

_Its Crush Season at Mobius Elementary School. And NO ONE, and I mean, NO ONE, is __safe!_

"Hey Shadow!" Amber called in a seductive voice, and the black hedgehog turns to see Crazy, Amber and Shade waving, with googly eyes.

Shadow turns back to the readers with a disturbed look and goes back to what he was doing.

_And Knowing the different types of crushes can protect you from being crushed, by a crush._

Shadow walks away from the hall and he begins to narrate.

_First type:_

_**Type 1: WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE Crush. **_

_One of the most common. don't even bother into getting your hopes up. You won't have a chance in this life time._

_**Type 2: Someone likes you…but you don't like them.**_

_Another type of crush and one I have dealt with since I met Amy in the fourth grade. This crush, many people try their best not to hurt the other persons feelings. _

_**Type 3: You Like them, but You don't know if they like you and when you see them, you act like an idiot.**_

_FINALLY, there is 'You like them but don't know if they like you.' You see them, BAM! You act like an idiot._

He looks to see a Spark standing by the water fountains and see's Polly walking by in some tight jeans and a tee and Lily in her usual skate wear.

"Hiya, Spark." Polly greets.

Spark tries to come up with some decent words, but out came,

"HESHKA POLISKA"

Spark then shakes his head and smacks it, calling himself an idiot.

"That poor man." Shadow says as he begins walking to his class after the bell rings.

45 Mins Later…

"So, you said to Polly 'HESHKA POLISKA' What the- I wouldn't even say that! Just ask her to the dance."

"I couldn't even say a decent hello. Things weren't so complicated back when Polly and I were just friends and way before I found her _hot_."

"Whatever. But hey, she's an amazing singer. Did you know that?" Todd said as Spark's eyes opened wide.

"WAIT! SHE CAN SING?" he asked. Todd raises a brow and says,

"I thought you two were cool. But yeah, she's going to perform at the dance."

"What does she even sing?" Spark asks his friend as Ares and Poison drop by and ask Todd.

"Grilling him yet?" Ares asked as he and Poison take Speakers to the gym, preparing for the dance. Spark raises his brow in question and Todd shakes his head.

"No! And I won't!" he said, overdramatically. Unbeknownst to Spark, Ares and Poison knew what Todd meant with his tone.

"Whatever. See ya." Ares replied as he pulls the cart full of wires and Poison with the speakers. Todd and Spark walk down the halls and goes back to what they were talking about.

"Polly sings almost anything, especially R&B. If I were her, I'd enter _MOBIUS IDOL _and kick its Audition in the butt. Probably make Simone Cowarde cry." Todd replied as Spark couldn't help but laugh.

"So she's that good?"

"Yeah, she going to sing "Summertime" and man! She can sing!" he exclaimed as they head to Social studies.

"I want to see for myself." Spark said. "And anyways, how will I ask her out if I have no where to take her?" He said, trying to create a decent excuse.

"You need a school function, a place where boys and girls go out together." Ares and said as he walks by with the TV cart.

Spark rolls his eyes, "EAVESDROPPING MUCH!"

Todd gets an Idea...

"The school dance! Ask her to be your date.

Spark rolls his eyes and they walk off. As they walk, they notice a an echidna, an 8th grader, holding a single rose and motions Polly to come his way. She goes over and the boys see their lips moving, since they couldn't hear the conversation.

"So what's good, baby girl? Wanna come with me to the dance and maybe later we could do a little more?"

Polly noticed his slick attitude and decides to make a fool of him.

Seeing this, deep down, Spark wouldn't mind socking him the face. Todd notices and holds his arm up in his way and says.

"Wait! I think Polly is on to something!" he whispers.

Polly takes his rose, smells it sweetly and says

"I dunno… I mean, a football player asking a 6th grader to the dance? I dunno…its so sudden and I just broke up with my boyfriend awhile ago."

"I will make you forget he ever existed, baby girl. Come with me and I will make it so."

"Really? How?"

He kneels down towards her for a kiss and with her sharp nails she slices his face.

"You little -"

"Don't you dare call me that! And if you DARE to approach me for that I will make you remember me for sure!"

The boys snicker as they view Polly throwing the rose at his face.

"Sleazy creep!" she yelled as she walked herself back to class, only to receive a tardy.

The boys walk away, snickering down the halls

Shadow and Knuckles were talking to Mr. Hancock, who was taking charge of the Back To School dance.

"Hey guys! Guess what? A friend and I are deciding to do the theme 'Dances with Wolves' get it? And she will bring a real wolf to the school! Won't that be fun?"

The Boys nod and they walk away before he could say another word.

"So tell me again how do I know Tikal likes me?" Knuckles asked. Shadow rolls his eyes and replies, "Just ask her to the stupid dance already! Sheesh. Take a risk, girls like that stuff."

Knuckles rolls his eyes and replies,

"Whatever. I just wanted to ask for an opinion. What's with the uptightness?"

Shadow sighs and before he makes a full sentence, Amy and Silver, both holding hands, appear. Shadow snarls with Silver's presence.

"I think I know why now." Knuckles said to himself. He then sees Chaos, Shadow's 5th grade brother walking the halls, with a lovey-dovey face and smiling like an idiot.

"Whoa, what happened."

"Mia is what happened." Chaos replied in a dreamy voice. Shadow rolls his eyes.

Knuckles looks at Shadow and asks, "Who's Mia?"

"A crush of his, more like obsessed love item. Poor kid will never understand that a girl like her wouldn't give him the light of day."

"The poor kid." Knuckles added as both boys shake their heads.

"Whatever…" Chaos replied dreamily.

"Mia is all you talk about, and honestly, this isn't a crush. Its…..LOVE." Shadow snarls in annoyance. This crush stuff was getting to his brain.

"-GASP!-" was what came from Amy. She goes to Chaos and asks,

"That's soo cute! Who's is she, huh? Who is she?"

The love-bound hedgehog points to a black furred hedgehog in a pixie skirt, vested tee and long fringed quills. She carried a messenger backpack covered in buttons and it was torn up. Now she isn't emo, but she isn't preppy. Behind her was Kappa and Assesina.

"Just ask her to the back to school dance, its easy."

Knuckles snickers and says,

"Easier said then done. You don't even wanna ask Ames -"

"HELLO, what part of 'AMY IS DATING SILVER' do you NOT get?" Shadow snarled.

Chaos looks on at Mia. Shadow decides to head off to study hall. Spark decides to ask a girl's opinion since Todd wasn't turning out good. He heads into study hall and sees Amy, Shadow, Lily and Jillian studying for their classes.

"Um Shadow. Do you mind if I talk to the girls…alone? I need to ask them something."

"Whatever." was Shadow replies as he grabs his guide and walks off. Spark takes the now empty seat and sits with them.

"Umm…girls…I have a question. I wanna-"

Amy and Lily stop him in his tracks and they say in unison.

"You wanna know if Polly likes you."

"Wait…how did you guys know?"

Amy and Lily roll their eyes and Jillian says,

"We're girls, we know everything, just that why are you such a chicken into asking her?"

"She's smart, straight A student, good athlete, HOT! Oh and did I mention she can cook?

Oh and she's HOT"

The girls roll their eyes and they think on what Spark could do. Its not like him, but love has taken over!

In the halls, Julie-Su and Karen are talking about the Back-to-School dance and a young hedgehog named Coconut, due to his color, came up to her holding a rose.

"Hey Jules, I came here to ask you something."

Julie-Su, not wanting to hurt the boy's feelings tries to think up an escape. She then gets an idea and sees Anderson, the janitor, walking by with a rolling garbage can.

"ANDERSON!" she called. He rushes to her, opens the can and she jumps in.

"SORRY! LOOKING FOR MY…CRIMPER! YEAH!"

"ALRIGHT!" he said. He then turns to Karen and says,

"Man, Jordan will kill me."

"WAIT, JORDAN? AS IN JORANIEL SPARXX?"

He nods before he rushes to class. Karen looks for Razor and then heads off to the gym for PE.

Out of nowhere, Shadow appears and says,

_There are a few things usually more important than finding out if someone likes you. But if you want to, check these tips…_

Chaos looks into Study hall to see Mia and Andy Otter. By the looks of her, she seemed annoyed by a certain hedgehog.

_First is: Just ASK! Its called the direct approach._

He walks in and asks directly.

"Mia, would you go to the dance with me?"

"NO!"

"But I-"

Andy, as her attorney finishes the sentence, "My client will answer no further questions."

Stung by rejection, Chaos begins to ball out crying overdramatically. He takes out a towel and cries and blows his nose in it. He then ties it so the water would get out. Shadow looks at his brother and shakes his head.

Spark and Todd walk around and Spark sees Polly walking with Amy and Kappa out of Consumer Education.

_There are also Indirect approaches, like a simple 'Hi' and get noticed. _

Spark sees Polly and says,

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hi!" she replied as she walked with other girls.

Chaos joins in as he finds Mia. He sees her and says,

"HEEEEEY Mia!"

She rolls her eyes and walks down the halls. Todd and Spark walk over and tease him a bit.

"OH NO! Reeeejected!" they both said.

"No Play for Mr. Gray!"

"Ha, ha. At least I am not a chicken to ask the girl I like, unlike you."

Spark then electrocutes him slightly, causing him a bit of pain.

"What was that?" Chaos shouts. Spark rolls his eyes and says, "Hey, you ask me."

"Uh no thanks." he replied as he rubbed his tail. They walk away and head for the lunch room.

Five minutes into Lunch, Shadow and the gang along with Spark and Todd sit and have lunch. Then the girls came and they decide to introduce a new a new kid who just started a week ago.

"Wow, what's with the new kids?" Spark asks. He looks and sees Polly with Lily and Amy. He decides to sit with the guys and stay away. They then see a waddling trash can, who was Julie-Su hiding from Coconut.

"So…she likes Spark?" Julie-Su asks. Shadow rolls his eyes and comments,

"This crush stuff is annoying me. I swear, I'm gonna lose my lunch."

He gets up and walks away. Julie-Su hides in her trash can and the others just finish up their Lunch. After leaving, he finds Amy down in the blue.

"Whoa." he murmured and he goes over to see what's up.

He goes up to her and asks,

"What's with the sad face? Usually its either you missed a huge sale or something is on your mind."

"Its just…well, Silver and I…we have a lot of things in common…so much, its scary." Amy said. Shadow rolls his eyes and says,

"Well, you need to think. Would you want someone who has many things that are the same with you? Or do you prefer someone totally different?"

"I mean, someone different is ok, just that you need to have at least SOME things in common. Get where this is going?"

"I guess. But I think I need some time to think."

"And maybe help with the dance? The committee needs more people and you are good with color coordination. I'm surprised Knuckles had some decent style of clothing if it wasn't for you."

Amy couldn't help but giggle at his words and replies,

"I think I will go for it!"

"See, how bad was that?"

"Not at all, see ya Shadow." She said as she got up and walked away. Shadow nods and he too gets up so heads to see Spark and the others.

"So…"

"NO! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY THIS?" Shadow snarled.

Shadow and Knuckles were in the halls walking with Amy and Julie-Su when they see the Rowdy girls. Shadow looks at his friends and says,

"If I don't make it alive…I have a will. BYE!"

Shadow speeds off as the girls chase him down the halls. Amy and Julie-Su shake their heads as Knuckles laughs.

"Knuckles its not funny. Shadow could get hurt." Amy said, holding her hand to her chest in worry. Julie-Su and Knuckles both roll their eyes as Silver comes up to them with Blaze and Vector on his tail.

"Hey, Ames. Guys, we got a band for the dance!"

"WHO!" asked the gang, and Shadow as he ran past them, hoping the hoard of girls don't find him yet.

"5 Starz!" he said as the guys cheered. (5 Starz=

"Any one else? I remembered for the fifth grade dance we had talents." Amy asked, turning to her current boyfriend.

"Well…" Silver said. The then gathers Amy and Julie-Su and Knuckles into a huddle.

"You know Polly?"

"POLLY?" they all said in amazement.

"Yeah, even though she's a little shy, she has an AMAZING voice!" Silver said.

At the other side of the school, Shay and Sonic were having a good conversation about their PE exam.

"How does Coach Roman do it to make our lives miserable?"

"Dunno, Sonic." She said with a frown and there was a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Woah, what's wrong, Shay?" he asked they reached study hall. She sighs and replies,

"Well…knowing the back to school dance is coming up soon…I have no one to go with, and with me and Scourge broken up…I…I just don't know."

Sonic thinks for a bit and a light bulb pops into his head.

"You can go with me, I'm in the committee'

"Cool! Okay then!" She replied with a twinkle of joy in her eyes.

"Bye!" Sonic rushed away taking with him streamers and his school leather jacket.

As Shadow and the others walk down the halls, they see Mr. Hancock posting up banners for the dance.

"Hey, maybe we should join the dance committee." Spark said, thinking it would be a good way to get himself recognized.

"For once….this was the SMARTEST thing you thought of." Todd replied, with great and Spark roll their eyes.

Mr. Hancock announces,

"Is there anyone who wants to sign up for the committee?"

No one was interested until he finally said,

"You can skip your next class!" and the world ran towards him along with the boys. Once they sign in, Spark notices Lily, Polly and Jillian signing in.

"Sweet!" Spark said in his subconscious.

"This is gonna be fun!" Mr. Hancock said as he sees the increase in help he is getting.

Lily and Polly finish signing in and they talk about the dance.

"So who are you going to the dance with?" Lily asked

"Well I might end up going on my own, since I got no date and the people who asked me were a bunch of pervs."

"Ouch. 8th graders?"

"Yeah…"

They look at each other and shiver to the thought.

"Hey Polly!" a voice said. Polly makes a 180 turn and sees Spark.

"Wanna help me set up the stage?"

"Sure !" She replied.

They go over to the other side of the gym and begin setting up the stage for the band and the opening act, Polly.

"So, any idea on who you want to go to the dance with?"

"No…not really. I think Lily and I will just have the girls come with us, well except Laterose and Jillian since they have dates."

They laugh and finish setting up the stage.

"So…I hear you can sing? I bet it must be good."

"I dunno…I mean, I hope people love my singing, I might decide on signing up for 'Mobius' Next Teen Talent' if people like it."

"I bet you will rock the house"

She hugs him and he playfully chokes

"Thanks!"

"No-ack- problem"

Shadow and the gang put up streamers and noticed that Lily is clinging on for her life due to one of the guys taking the ladder.

"Oh geez, POLLY!" she hollered clinging for dear life on a banner.

Polly rushes to the rescue, only for her to be a little too late, with Lily on the floor.

"Ouch!"

Shadow sits on the bleachers, bored and uninterested as he looks through his guide. And sees a waddling garbage can. Only it could be, Julie-Su

"So…hows things with everyone?" she asked, hiding from Coconut.

"Decent… I mean, everyone seems to get together for the dance."

"And you?"

"Me? I'm going stag!" he says with bleak sarcasm.

"Good luck with that." she said and hides again in the trash can as Coconut approaches Shadow.

"Hey Shadow, have you seen Jules?"

"Nope."

"Gee, thanks…"

"You know she doesn't like you right?"

"I Don't care. This was from Jordan."

Shadow's eyes widen in shock and blurts out.

"JORDAN! As in the jock Jordan?"

"Yup."

Then Jordan comes out from the hall and sits next to Shadow on the other end of the bleachers.

"So did she say yes?"

Before Shadow could answer, he speaks up

"I knew this was a stupid idea…I should've done the direct approach and asked her 'Would you go to the dance with me?'"

Polly looks up and replies, "Sure!" she was overjoyed that the hottest guy in school asked her to the dance." She then throws out a smoothie in the trash can…the one that Julie-Su was hiding.

Jordan shakes his head and she drags him away.

Spark walks over to them and asks,

"Anyone going stag?"

Shadow raised his hand. Julie Su pops out the trash can, angry and covered with Strawberry smoothie.

"Now the world knows why they're called crushes…" Shadow says and looks over to the readers.

"Hey Jules, got space in that trash can?" Spark asks.

The echidna shakes her head…

* * *

HOORAY! Dances is Next :D Happy Belated holidays everyone :D


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